Louis CK covers the new GQ
"My girls and I make a lot of dark jokes together. In the upcoming season [of Louie], there’s a line from a conversation I had with my older girl. She was saying how whenever she sees a three-legged dog, it lifts her spirits, because three-legged dogs are wonderfully unaware that they have a malady. They just walk around, and they don’t give a shit. And I said, ‘You know, honey, they are lucky. But do you know the only thing luckier than a three-legged dog? A four-legged dog.’ And she really laughed. Whenever she laughs that hard at something dark? I know it’s good.”
#know your possums
REALLY just wanna take this chance to remind the people who follow me to not kill/trap opossums if they’re in your yard, and do not call animal control! Seriously.
- Opossums are literally 100% BIOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE of carrying rabies. Their body temperature is too cool to incubate it properly.
- Opossums are actually quite gentle and NOCTURNAL, so if they’re roaming, they’ve probably gotten lost, been injured, and are looking for a place to hide.
- Young opossums tend to try to climb into garbage cans when they’re starving. This is because THEY ARE LITERALLY STARVING. Don’t fucking shoot them or hit them with things because you wanna be some fucking macho top-of-the-food-chain cocksucker.
- Mama possums are amazing mothers and if you encounter an “aggressive” opossum, it’s probably because she’s got babies hanging off her nipple and she’s freaking out. They’re clumsy. Sometimes they don’t hear you coming and you catch each other off guard.
- Wanna lure an opossum off of your property? You can set up a box with some greens and cat kibble in it, hide it well, and lure them out that way. They’re actually quite harmless and keep other predators away. they eat lotsa gross stuff.
- Opossum mamas who get hit by cars often still have their helpless babies attached to them. Possums get a bad rep and people say they are “the dumbest animal”, but they are incredible creatures who have been around since the days of fucking dinosaurs so treat them well, okay?
You guys don’t even know how much I love opossums. People think they are ugly but I adore them. Whenever I see a dead opossum on the side of the road I stop and check to see if it’s a momma with a pouch and then check to see if any babies are still inside by opening the pouch up with a stick. A lot of babies will survive the car accident but then slowly starve to death since the mom died. If your local wildlife center takes in abandoned babies you can take the orphaned opossums to them to raise.
I do the same! I swear I’ve been talking about possums for the past 2 weeks. I
I grew up in Louisiana and could never figure out why people hated these little guys so much. They are adorable imo! Now some people liked them because they’re allegedly tasty, but I don’t know nothing about that.
(Source: micromys, via monicalewinsky1996)
"See, when you meet someone
#falling in love involuntarily
for the first time,
you don’t really imagine that they would
turn out to be someone important to you.
You don’t really assume that
when you first learn someone’s name
that after awhile you would begin to really
get to know them inside and out,
or how you begin to pick up their habits,
and start talking like them,
or finishing the food off their plates
you don’t really see these things
happening, when you first meet someone.
Without really expecting it, this someone
who was only just a stranger to you before,
can all of a sudden mean so much more,
can become someone so special,
and someone you can’t see yourself
'Warrior Stance' - Model: Ajak Deng | Photography: Steven Klein | Styling: Edward Enninful | Hair: Orlando Pita | Make-up: Kabuki | Designer: Vera Wang
This methamphetamine crystal shard binge is called “Fucking in Jeeps gives me the creeps.” Brought to you by the Buddy Holly of crack.